Feeling a bit sluggish, headachy and vaguely ill today. Various theories about why including:
– changing sleep patterns
– less coffee consumption (I’m off work and at work I drink several cups a day)
– less alcohol consumption (though I’ve been doing that for a week or so)
– something I ate
anyway I feel a bit crappy. But not so much so that I’m not going to try to get some stuff i.e. writing, done. Yesterday I wrote 250 words in one of my uncompleted stories. Then deleted it all. I may try again today or I may do crits instead. I have a backlog of 6 stories since I decided to crit everything. The group politics continue – but as someone who’s been absent a while it’s pretty much just a spectator sport.
(just noticed my j key is acting up. Perhaps the keyboard needs a clean?)
If I do do crits I may need to check that I’m not being overly harsh. My guess is that feeling rough might make me tend to be less generous.
Had a weird dream last night. I wanted to capture the essence of it before I forget. There’s not enough there to be a story in itself but something about it might be worth using later. I was in this crowded place – I think it was a shelter or reception centre for hurricane victims. In the dream Del-Boy Trotter was my brother – which should make me Rodney but I think I was still just me. I was wandering around trying to find someone to be with. All the people I found who knew me, including Del-Boy, whether they knew me well or only vaguely, all rejected my pleas to hang out with them. It seems I was a burden, a hassle to them. In fact by the end of the dream I was still searching but hiding from those I’d already asked as some of them had mocked me for even asking. I felt very alone, and stupid, and of course, rejected. I think M. was one of the ones who rejected me too but I can’t be sure.
Anyway I woke up feeling the lingering emotions from that dream and the grogginess from whatever is wrong with me today.